That's what tonight was like for me. I had a whole different post in mind, and while I was working on it, I was listening to the latest album by The Band Perry. They sang a song called "Pioneer" last night and dedicated it to the firefighters. I fell in love with the song, and was excited to hear more of their new material, so I fired up the new album and was ready to write all about how brave Kaylee was today. I will still write about that, but not tonight. Tonight I need to write about something else.
Tonight I feel an overwhelming urge to write about how the future can be one scary son of a bitch.
There's no pretty way to put it. It's really quite as simple as that. Thoughts of the future can be just plain knock you on your ass mind blowingly scary as freaking HELL.
We never want it to feel like that. If you're anything like me, you want it to be mysterious, full of dreams coming true, fun, exciting, adventurous, surprising (in a good way, thankyouverymuch) - all of those things.
But - some days...those ideas are nowhere in sight, and all you are is scared. Scared out of your ever loving mind.
And that's when we need to remind ourselves how resilient and amazing the human spirit is. We (I) need to give ourselves more credit. We were made to endure trauma, heartache and pain. And if we weren't, how would we ever, ever be able to truly appreciate joy and beauty and love the way that we can when we've been through such hard things?
So, tonight, I'll share with you my new anthem. The song that speaks to me right now. In big, big, big ways. And I'll pick and choose some of the lyrics that speak to my soul right where they are needed most right now.
May it speak to you, too, and somehow get to a spot in your heart where you need it most.
Oh pioneer
So young and brave
Be careful of the careful souls who doubt you along the way...
So young and brave
Be careful of the careful souls who doubt you along the way...
Let your heart not be troubled
I won't run when bullets chase me
I won't hush, no you can't make me
Send the dark but it won't break me
You can try but you can't change me
Send the dark but it won't break me
You can try but you can't change me
I won't hush, no you can't make me
I won't hush, no we will sing
I won't hush, no we will sing
-The Band Perry
http://www.psychiatrictimes.com/articles/differentiating-bipolar-depression-postpartum-depression
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